WHAT WAS THE FIRST YEAR WITH TWINS LIKE?
On the 15th of every month, the Real Talk with Real Twin Moms Series brings you real answers to the questions most moms of twins have. Everything from finding out you are having twins, to delivering twins, the struggles and rewards, and even marriage after twins.
We’re getting REAL about what raising twins is like, and hope it helps you through this adventure! Last month’s question was “How was your delivery with twins?” and this month we are following that up with “What was the first year with twins like?”. Learn a bit about this month’s moms and their answers below and check out these 10 Tips for Your First Year with Twins!
REAL TALK WITH REAL TWIN MOMS
May: What was the first year with twins like?
SARAH AT SARAHINTHESUBURBS.COM
Sarah was born into a military family and raised all over the world, but will always call the southeastern United States home. After graduating from Auburn University with a bachelor’s degree in Apparel Merchandising, Sarah married her husband, Neil, in January of 2009, and they began to make plans to build their life together in Montgomery, Alabama. Little did they know that twins, a job change, and a move further north to Birmingham were in the not too distant future! Sarah and Neil welcomed their fraternal twin girls in February of 2011, and, just over a year later, Sarah and her family moved to Birmingham following her husband’s acceptance of a new job. With Neil’s love of the mountains and Sarah’s love of the beach, Birmingham is the perfect location for them to raise their family and be equidistant from the two places they love the most. Sarah’s blog focuses on her love of travel, parenting, with little bits of pixie dust thrown in for good measure!
What was your first year with twins like?
My first year with twins was one big learning curve. Because they were eight weeks early, we had to adhere to a strict feeding schedule to put some weight on them. Naturally, that schedule stuck with them and we didn’t start sleeping through the night until they were almost 6 months old. It was rough. Around Christmas, I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Their personalities started to really shine through and they were enthralled with everything around them. I survived the first year with my twins thanks to the village I had around me. New twin moms, hear this: don’t go it alone. If someone offers help, take it!
NATASHA AT HOUSEFULOFNICHOLES.COM
Houseful of Nicholes came to be in 2010 when she found out that she was pregnant with twin children. She couldn’t find a place on the internet that she resonated with, as far as planning for expanding a family by two people at once, let alone one that came from the point of view of an African-American family. Since then, she’s shared their growing pains, their wins (potty training) and everything in between that it takes to be a wife, and mom of four in the city.
What was your first year with twins like?
The first year was HECTIC. In the first three months, my husband I realized that our time was of no importance, and we were okay with that. We went from sleeping at night to sleeping in the morning, and if we didn’t have the support of my mother and close friends, I’m not sure that our household would have run as smooth-ish as it did. I only nursed for 10 months because the demands were high, and my body wasn’t acting right. I will say that having my third and fourth child at the same time, allowed me to come to the realization that there was NO need to be perfect, and that sometimes, my best was not to be compared to the best of anyone else, just as long as I was putting the BEST foot forward. Given that I had a c-section, I also learned how to slow down and appreciate time with my babies and even my other children a bit more than I did with my vaginal births. I will say that I was a lot more confident in my parenting ability than I was with my first child, and I realized that leaving them with my parents or even my husband was not a reflection on me being a bad parent, but one who needed to recharge in order to be a better parent. They are now bustling 6-year-olds, and we’re moving forward with gusto!
KIMBERLY AT THINGSITHOUGHTIDNEVER.COM
Kim Gillespie is a Chicago native, whose life journey has taken her from the classroom as an educator, to being a missionary and event planner to stay at home mom. Although she initially earned a degree in economics, she discovered while at Dallas Seminary that she is educator and writer at her core. She loves telling stories about life – and now pursues her love for writing as the mastermind behind Things I Thought I’d Never, an inspirational parenting lifestyle site dedicated to finding the lessons, joy, and humor found in everyday life. She recently relocated to Atlanta, GA with her husband, 6 year- old son, and 3 year old twins girls – who give her plenty of material.
What was your first year with twins like?
My first year was crazy. I had a 2.5-year-old at the time, we had just moved to a new place, my hormones were on overdrive and my brain (and body) was fried. We had moved to CA in July 2012 and got pregnant with the twins that August. Less than a year into a cross country move we were bringing home 2 babies. I hit rock bottom emotionally for a variety of reasons. But, in spite of all of that, it was also the time I discovered the beauty of the community. We were connected with an amazing church and many of the people- particularly some of the women, surrounded us and cared for me when I could not care for myself. They fed us, cleaned our home, sat with me, sat with/held/took out the kids, prayed for us, and hugged me when all I could do was cry because there was just SO MUCH. I learned the value of vulnerability and honesty, asking for help instead of struggling in silence, and just being ok with not being ok or having all of the answers. As hard as that time was in some ways, I am tearing up now with gratitude. Because of those relationships that have grown in ways that would not have occurred if not for that season, I am a better mother – and friend.
LISA AT MOMONTHESIDE.COM
Lisa is a wife and mother to four, including four-year-old twins, a tween son, and teen daughter. Lisa began blogging almost seven years ago and has enjoyed sharing parenting advice, easy recipes, printable scavenger hunts, and most recently, a Thirsty Thursday series and a Me Time series becomes moms need to take care of themselves in order to be great mothers.
What was your first year with twins like?
I wish I could say that I had an amazingly wonderful first year with twins. However, that first year was VERY rough for me. Exhaustion was definitely a highlight, and I was an emotional mess. My oldest two kids were 6 and 11 when the twins were born, and we weren’t planning any more children so life was pretty much flipped upside down. I was overwhelmed with figuring out how to do everything for the twins, as well as still keep house, put dinner on the table, get work done, plus two older children who still needed me and have busy schedules. My body was failing me at nursing no matter what I tried, and I was impatient with letting it heal from a tough twin delivery and tubal. What got me through that first year with twins was letting go of control and accepting help. My mom lending a hand and my husband being able to take the last half of the first year off helped me survive. With their help, I was able to figure out a routine that worked for me and the twins (at the time) and focus on self-care to help my emotional state. I will say it until I am blue in the face – if you have twins, please ask for help when you need it and don’t feel like you are being a burden.
MELISSA AT SIPPYCUPMOM.COM
SippyCupMom.com is where Melissa shares the adventures of raising an energetic and YouTube obsessed 8 year old son and sassy and sometimes stubborn 3.5 year old twin girls. She also love to share more about parenting, travel adventures, recipes, crafts, technology, product reviews and more!
What was your first year with twins like?
Whenever people ask me about the first year with twins, I always tell them that my goal was to survive. Especially those first few months which were so rough. Both girls were on opposite schedules no matter what I did to try and get them on the same schedule. I was tired, breaking out in hives and crying by myself in the middle of the night – and I had a supportive husband who would get up with me to do diaper changes!
Once they started sleeping through the night around 6 months, a lot changed. I feel like we all got a little happier and started to get into a smoother routine. Before that, it was just chaos and surviving. I was lucky to have a lot of help that first year from family and friends – I don’t know what I would have done otherwise! It was ALL worth it though – those midnight snuggles, first smiles, seeing that special twin bond….I would do it all again in a second!
STACY AT FANCYSHANTY.COM
Stacy is a lifestyle blogger and brand ambassador in Southern California who shares her experiences homeschooling her four children, raising multiples, supporting her two children living with multiple food allergies, and helping her children with special needs thrive.
Somewhere between wrangling her four children (twins born in 2008, a boy in 2010 and their first girl in 2012), her dog (a reverse brindle boxer) and her husband (a red-headed Spaniard), she still finds the much-needed girl time for a glass of wine while crafting or creating a new, delicious recipe.
What was your first year with twins like?
Our first year with twins nothing like we expected. Our twins were born 11 weeks premature and spent their first 7 weeks in the NICU, which was tough. Thankfully, they didn’t have major complications and, on the bright side of having such a long NICU stay, we had some of the best parent training around and our twins came home on a regular feeding and sleeping schedule.
Once home and due to on-going respiratory issues, we needed to keep our twins home as much as possible and away from any chances of becoming ill since we were at the peak of RSV season. So, much of the first six months of our twins’ lives were spent at home.
When our twins were strong enough to finally head out and meet the world we did everything we couldn’t do those first six months. Having the twins on a set schedule made traveling so easy, and that is my number one piece of advice I tell every new parent with twins, get them on a set schedule. You will love the freedom you have when your twins are on a schedule.
Stay Tuned for June’s Question: “What have been the hardest things about raising twins?” and check out these Twin Parenting Hacks for the First Year!
Jaime says
I have a 5-year-old and a 1-year-old, and a couple of friends who have twins. I have NO idea how people survive multiples! (My grandpa was a twin. He and his sister were the youngest of 7. HOW did his mother deal??)
Lisa Collins says
There are times I didn’t think I would survive lol! Always thankful the good out weighs the bad!
Crystal says
I’m a FTM of twin boys who are just 8 weeks old. I carried them to 37 weeks, one was delivered naturally and came in at 6lbs5 oz and the second was an emergency c section and came in at 6lbs1oz. My mom stayed with us for the better part of the first month and while she was helpful in some ways, she was equally not as helpful in many other ways. Basically now it’s just my husband and I and due to his work schedule he’s home by 2:30pm Monday-Friday and when he comes home he takes the boys and I get some time to myself – I usually run my own errands or take a bath or usually nap and then I get the boys again around 9 ish. The boys are doing great, eating between every 3-4 hours during the day and between every 4-5 hours at night so I do get to have a few good catnaps at night. We tried very hard from the minute they came home to help them gain some independence and a schedule. I’m not stressing about the housework- I do what needs to be done when I can get to it and if it’s not done then oh well. We also have two large dogs that need taking care of. I’d say my husband is the one who is more stressed by the twins than I am, to me they are a blessing and the rest of the world could crumble as long as they are taken care of.
Lisa Collins says
It sounds like you are doing amazing and I love that – getting a schedule in place from the get go does tremendous wonders in staying sane in the beginning. I hear ya on grandma being helpful and equally unhelpful lol! Keep letting the rest of the world crumble as you soak up every moment and continue to be an amazing mother to your twin boys!