In the event of a relationship breakdown or divorce when you have kids, trying your best to do what is in your child’s best interest will help you support them as they adjust to a new life without two parents at home.

Separation or divorce isn’t easy for anyone, but the massive upheaval in a child’s life can have a lasting impact, and how you deal with this situation can make or break how they deal with it, too.

It doesn’t matter how old your children are; doing what’s right for them will always be the best option. Here are 4 ways to support your child during divorce.

4 Ways to Support Your Child During Divorce

Get Legal Advice

It’s a good idea to get legal advice regarding child custody and child support arrangements once you decide that the marriage is over. Even if it’s an amicable split, knowing what you are legally entitled to or required to do for your children will help you make the right decisions, and avoid any lengthy court battles that won’t benefit the kids. The more you know about solo parenting, co-parenting, and even where you stand in terms of schooling and vacations, the easier it will be for everyone involved.

Talk To Them

One of the worst things you can do is try to hide what is happening and shelter them from everything. Sure, they don’t need to know the ins and outs of why the marriage or relationship has failed, but talking to them about what is happening and making them a part of the process will help them understand what’s going on and how it will affect them. 

Regardless of how old they are, it won’t be an easy conversation, but it is necessary. Find some time where you won’t be interrupted, either alone or with both parents, and allow them the time to digest the information, answer any questions they might have, and come to terms with what is happening.

Keep A Routine

Divorce can be a massive upheaval so it is important to keep to their usual routine when possible. Too many changes and disruptions can be detrimental to avoid upending your life where you can and keep to some sort of a regular routine, i.e., schooling, clubs, bedtime, and usual activities. This will help create some semblance of normalcy and reassure them not everything has to be different.

Avoid Blame and Trash Talk

Regardless of your feelings towards your spouse or former partner, they are still your child’s other parent. Avoid negatively talking about them or using your child as a sounding board for your frustrations. They do not need to be dragged into any bad feelings you might have, nor do you need to “turn them against” their other parent. This can cause conflicting feelings and confusion and will only serve to perpetuate any animosity you feel, potentially damaging their relationship.

Supporting your children in the event of a relationship breakdown isn’t easy. Not only do you need to navigate your own feelings, but ensure they still feel loved and protected by both parents, too. Stay calm, be open and honest, and ensure your children know that even if you no longer care for each other, you still love them unconditionally regardless.